And It All Felt Right, It All Felt Right

by Alexandra Strong

So last week I was at Jeremy’s house

and the sun was out and it glistened

on the snow melting on the driveway

and I thought to myself: this is going to be a great memory

I sat in the hallway with Charles as our laptops played tug-of-war with the wifi connection and every so often our eyes would meet and we’d share a smile

because we both knew where we were and what we were doing and he knew

I loved that hallway because the light filtered in from a window on the left

and I knew

he loved that hallway because it was where he could code all the patterns that he saw in his world and we both knew that

Jeremy loved that hallway because of the small divot where the rug meets the kitchen floor because learning to step over it at three years old was his first real milestone in life

so I sat in the hallway and I looked at the divot and saw little Jeremy as the light continued to touch me and Charles

and I took it all in as

Isabel and Alivia were

singing in the bathroom and I was sitting cross-legged so my foot fell asleep to the sound of their harmonies echoing on tiles

and I couldn’t feel my toes

but it was okay because

Amy was next to me and she asked me about music in the home and I told her all about my playlists for the light and my playlists for the night and my playlists that sometimes fell in between and one by one we went through them all and determined what we wanted to hear at that moment and once we found it

I looked at Amy and she looked at me and we smiled a knowing smile that only we could see

and James Blake and Frank Ocean distracted me from my feet as my ears and my eyes felt something beautiful

it was Friday and we were living large

On Saturday I had a morning thought and it was: it’s morning and the light is lovely

and I kept that thought with me throughout the day

I nestled it in my back pocket and I reached

for it when I wasn’t sure what to do at 2pm because that’s the time of day when I would usually talk to Julia about how many people there are in the world and how awe-inspiring that is but she’s miles away seeing all those people and being awe-inspired

so I reached into my pocket

and I relived my thought

and I put it back when

dinner-time came around because

the air smelled of curry and Nicole would’ve liked that because she loves everything about the kitchen atmosphere

the spices the warmth the cool tiles under her feet

but Nicole wasn’t here and the tiles were a bit colder

than usual

but the spices were here and her

warmth would be back so I

remembered the thought

the light and the morning and nothing else

And I protected my thought as I sat at the dinner table and conversed with Isaac about rap culture and the Grammys and what really matters in music or what we think really should and we pondered whether our opinions even meant anything at all because we were only two people at a dinner table of fourteen and the world is so much bigger than dinner tables

but we agreed that it did matter it really did and

when the time came for us all to lounge I snuggled between Thomas and Ryan and I showed them my thought and they reveled at it as it twisted and turned and they tried to catch every angle of it and later

I stood next to the piano with Michelle as Adrienne stood across from us and with Marshall giving us cues we looked at each other knowingly and sang into the night

and it all felt right, it all felt right


Alexandra Strong (she/hers): lover of annotations, spotify enthusiast (really a music snob). constantly reminding and remembering to others and myself that blackness sparkles. growing and grateful for the sun. often heard saying “damn, that was a beautiful phrase.” but catch me laughing, it echoes for miles.